There is an old saying that “Time heals” - but I don't believe it's as simple as that. Enough time can go by and the pain may become less intense, but the root of your pain will always exist. Time can be a tool that if used in the right hands, can help the healing process.
Just me and the Pohutakawa Tree
Just recently I was challenged on the anniversary of my mother’s death to go and visit her resting place. I knew God was trying to get something through to me that day but my infamous mind blocking techniques were in full swing. It wasn’t exactly the greatest weather to go visiting ironically enough! Infact it was the most intense storm I had ever witnessed. I made my way up to the edge of the cliff face where she rested, gathered my hood up around my face, clutched my clothes firmly to my body, and sat stubbornly down beside her in complete defiance. I somehow got the feeling that it was personal, that the weather was so dreadful just on account of me being there. My resolve strengthened as I whispered to the ground, “Well Mum at least I’m here”. At that moment I felt the Holy Spirit prompting my thoughts. I started to feel like the unforgiving weather was a symbol. I heard the spirit say quietly “You must do this, it is time”. It was so hard to consider what needed to be done, let alone activate it. But I knew this was one choice I was going to get right! And so I sat with my head lifted to the angry clouds and I spoke just as quietly; “I forgive you mum, and I am sorry for all the hurtful angry things I have said about you over the last few years. I hope you can forgive me to.”
There is a reason why the word of God clearly tells us to honor our fathers and mothers – minus any conditions attached. It may not be easy for some, but God requires it of us. We don't have to agree with what they have done or how they may have treated us. Honour and Forgiveness are principles that bring YOU into a position of freedom. Its not a fluffy feel good exercise, although this can be a bi-product of activating truth. What it does is open the channels between you and God, so He can ultimately teach you how to become more like Him.
As I found out that day, forgiveness can produce any number of Godly encounters. At that exact moment the wind died completely and the black rain clouds seemed to disappear over the horizon in a matter of seconds. It was like something out of a movie....surreal and completely unrealistic. And yet there I was...real as I am today. I lay down under the Pohutakawa tree and felt the ugly weight of anger and resentment dissolve for the first time in many years. I didn't even realise how much I was holding on to. But the heavens did! The sky was vivid blue and there wasn't a sound to be heard. I lay there immobilised....struck by awe. Peace reigned in that place and I will never forget that gift. Thank God for forgiveness...it was the thing that saved you, and is the thing that continues to save you!
“I’m sorry Rebecca, your Mum took her own life. She committed suicide”. At that point my legs gave way. Thankfully the couch broke my fall as I sat there shaking my head while tears erupted all around me. My face remained stone cold and dry. All I could think of was that damn answering machine."
"There is a reason why the word of God clearly tells us to honor our fathers and mothers – minus any conditions attached. It may not be easy but God requires it of us. We don't have to agree with what they have done or how they may have treated us. Honour and Forgiveness are principles that bring YOU into a position of freedom. Its not a fluffy feel good exercise, although this can be a bi-product of activating truth."
"I would hear Him stating rather matter of factly, that appreciation was required in order for me to make sense of things. I left that place with a God gifted answer, painstakingly bubble wrapped with divine sticky tape, so that no attack could possibly harm my new found revelation."