Not Enough!

At what age does the thought of sex dominate our lives? It used to be around the 16 mark, but unfortunately, due to physical and social progression, children can become interested and indeed obsessed with this subject at the point of puberty - which can be as young as 11-12 years old in this day and age. Shocking really, that an 11 year old is potentially consumed by the thought, and maybe even the act, of sex.

We all know how it usually works; Boy reaches puberty and all of a sudden everything and every thought revolves around HOW AND WHEN they are going to accomplish this unequivocal priority. Girl wants to impress boy, (as at this age everything is about the BOY), and sadly, 9 times out of 10 - betrays herself all in the name of Love.  Because "If you loved me you would do it". Who hasn't heard that line before!! To this day there are still some of us who are living in a hopelessly romantic dream world, and who will swear black and blue that “this love really did exist” and it wasn't a figment of our imagination. 

Whilst boys are typically hormone driven at this age, girls have their own set of challenges, and are often just as responsible for the final outcome. Remembering of course, that it takes two to tango!

How many times did we stand in front of the mirror, caking mums makeup on our sweet little faces with the all so “innocent” intention of capturing that certain young boys attention with lingering looks, sexy smiles and skin for miles. Once we had the attention mind you, most of us didn't know what to do with it, which is where we got into the most trouble. What do I do now that I have his attention? What do I do now that he won’t leave me alone and keeps pressuring me to do things I know I’m not ready for? Maybe I should just do what he wants since I tried so hard to get him and am now so lucky to have him at all? Maybe he’s right. If I did love him then I would do what he is asking of me! Slippery slope much?? 

Parents, this is where laying good foundations may “eventually” supersede any stupid decisions your little darlings may make! Mistakes are inevitable, making your way out of them alive and in tact is not. 

From the moment I became sexually active, my life took yet another turn for the worst. But this time I couldn't blame anybody but myself. Sex is mostly about choice and I made my choice to step into this world and all of its consequence. I was a late starter compared to my friends - something I was both embarrassed about, and proud of. I lost my virginity at 16, but as I grew older and into my 20's, I decided sex was more trouble than it was worth, and tried my hardest to steer clear until the day I said "I do". The crowd I hung out with thought I was crazy. We were in the hospo circle (pub/nightclub staff/muso's), and so living hard and fast was part of the deal. I was always different, and they knew it - even loved me for it. But this was a whole new level of crazy for them. Anyway, long story short - I failed. On several occasions if I'm to be completely honest. I've spent an enormous amount of time thinking about why men and women find it so difficult, if not impossible, to abstain from sex, especially when they have had a taste of it. This is what I have discovered;

It doesn't matter how determined you are to do what you think is the right thing - determination is not enough. You can have the very best of intentions but good intentions are never enough. You may go to church, call yourself a Christian and even be privy to the truth about sex - but labels or even knowing the truth isn't enough. Your heart may have been busted into a thousand pieces by the last person you compromised yourself for, but a broken heart isn't enough. You may have caught a disease that has ruined your life and potentially left you infertile - but this also, is not enough. You may have fallen pregnant and aborted your child, but even this traumatic experience will not be enough. You may have found the love of your life - and want to do things right - but even loving that person as much as you do, isn't enough.

WOW!! Thats a huge and extremely depressing list of "not enough's!!". 
All these things may help to strengthen your resolve, and even prolong the act. But unless you lock yourself away from the opposite sex for the rest of your life, being intimate with another person is inevitable. Especiallywhen you think your've met "the one" OR if drugs or alcohol are in the mix. 
Ok then......So what is enough? 
Well, I think I know the answer. And I know it works, because it worked for me. Read On!!!