"And this is just the beginning of a twisted tale, that if at all possible, would make it into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most repeated story in all of history"
The answer is this::::
You must love God more than yourself....anyone else.....or anything else.
If you know the truth but are struggling to live by it, then the only thing that will save you is a deep uncompromising LOVE for God. By this all things can be measured. If you love a man, then you must love God MORE. Likewise for the men; If you love a woman, your love for God must overshadow it.
But it doesn't stop there.
After 27 years of testing every theory and failing spectacularly, I finally got it right. I met a man who wasn't a christian, in fact he worked in the same industry as me so the chances of it working were almost 0-none. It was almost laughable if it wasn't so perfect. Right from the beginning I spelt it out and stuck to my guns. I told him that if he wanted to be with me....if we had any chance of making it past the alter, HE HAD TO LOVE GOD MORE THAN ME. What woman in their right mind would want their man to love someone more than her??? A woman who loved God more, that's who.
That was my only "prerequisite" - but it was a huge one. A deal breaker. It may be a one liner, but those eight simple words were packed with challenge. We humans have a nasty little habit of taking something so pure and manipulating it to suit our own agendas. Most of the time we don't even know we're doing it, but the moment you start justifying your behavior in the name of Love and even worse, doing it in the name of God, is the moment you have forsaken your love for Him. You can't say you love God more than anything and anyone, if you can't back it up by making the right choices and taking the right action. aka Walking the Talk. Hey...Its not easy - but it is possible.
If you would just put Him first....Uphold His truth in your life. Sometimes that looks like sacrifice on your behalf, but true love and happiness will be yours if you do this thing right. I have proof! It was the scariest thing I've ever done - laying down my wants, needs, love and desires, and trusting that God would make it happen if it was part of His plan. And look at me now....
I've been married for 10 years, and we have two beautiful children. Our marriage is amazing although not perfect of course. The bottom line remains the same. Our love for God first and foremost, overshadows everything and is what binds us together in covenant relationship. We both live under that beautiful shadow as one, ridiculously happy and determined to keep the main thing, the main thing.
Yes its true what they say - Love is the answer. But not just any kind of love....
At what age does the thought of sex dominate our lives? It used to be around the 16 mark, but unfortunately, due to physical and social progression, children can become interested and indeed obsessed with this subject at the point of puberty - which can be as young as 11-12 years old in this day and age. Shocking really, that an 11 year old is potentially consumed by the thought, and maybe even the act, of sex.
We all know how it usually works; Boy reaches puberty and all of a sudden everything and every thought revolves around HOW AND WHEN they are going to accomplish this unequivocal priority. Girl wants to impress boy, (as at this age everything is about the BOY), and sadly, 9 times out of 10 - betrays herself all in the name of Love. Because "If you loved me you would do it". Who hasn't heard that line before!! To this day there are still some of us who are living in a hopelessly romantic dream world, and who will swear black and blue that “this love really did exist” and it wasn't a figment of our imagination.
Whilst boys are typically hormone driven at this age, girls have their own set of challenges, and are often just as responsible for the final outcome. Remembering of course, that it takes two to tango!
How many times did we stand in front of the mirror, caking mums makeup on our sweet little faces with the all so “innocent” intention of capturing that certain young boys attention with lingering looks, sexy smiles and skin for miles. Once we had the attention mind you, most of us didn't know what to do with it, which is where we got into the most trouble. What do I do now that I have his attention? What do I do now that he won’t leave me alone and keeps pressuring me to do things I know I’m not ready for? Maybe I should just do what he wants since I tried so hard to get him and am now so lucky to have him at all? Maybe he’s right. If I did love him then I would do what he is asking of me! Slippery slope much??
Parents, this is where laying good foundations may “eventually” supersede any stupid decisions your little darlings may make! Mistakes are inevitable, making your way out of them alive and in tact is not.
From the moment I became sexually active, my life took yet another turn for the worst. But this time I couldn't blame anybody but myself. Sex is mostly about choice and I made my choice to step into this world and all of its consequence. I was a late starter compared to my friends - something I was both embarrassed about, and proud of. I lost my virginity at 16, but as I grew older and into my 20's, I decided sex was more trouble than it was worth, and tried my hardest to steer clear until the day I said "I do". The crowd I hung out with thought I was crazy. We were in the hospo circle (pub/nightclub staff/muso's), and so living hard and fast was part of the deal. I was always different, and they knew it - even loved me for it. But this was a whole new level of crazy for them. Anyway, long story short - I failed. On several occasions if I'm to be completely honest. I've spent an enormous amount of time thinking about why men and women find it so difficult, if not impossible, to abstain from sex, especially when they have had a taste of it. This is what I have discovered;
It doesn't matter how determined you are to do what you think is the right thing - determination is not enough. You can have the very best of intentions but good intentions are never enough. You may go to church, call yourself a Christian and even be privy to the truth about sex - but labels or even knowing the truth isn't enough. Your heart may have been busted into a thousand pieces by the last person you compromised yourself for, but a broken heart isn't enough. You may have caught a disease that has ruined your life and potentially left you infertile - but this also, is not enough. You may have fallen pregnant and aborted your child, but even this traumatic experience will not be enough. You may have found the love of your life - and want to do things right - but even loving that person as much as you do, isn't enough.
WOW!! Thats a huge and extremely depressing list of "not enough's!!".
All these things may help to strengthen your resolve, and even prolong the act. But unless you lock yourself away from the opposite sex for the rest of your life, being intimate with another person is inevitable. Especiallywhen you think your've met "the one" OR if drugs or alcohol are in the mix.
Ok then......So what is enough?
Well, I think I know the answer. And I know it works, because it worked for me. Read On!!!
Picture two pieces of A4 paper. One piece represents you and one piece represents your partner. Now, get your glue out and lather it on to both pieces of paper, after which, stick the two pieces together. This symbolises the ‘two of you’ coming together sexually. After a time, the glue will dry and the two pieces of paper are pretty much stuck for life.
When a man and a woman come together sexually, they are in effect making connections that are very difficult to break. By doing this they are also opening themselves up to give and receive whatever the other possesses.
The two pieces of paper have been stuck together for a time now. It may have been 24 hours – representing a one night stand. Or 5 years – representing a defacto relationship. One or both of the pieces of paper are getting cold feet, (if you can imagine pieces of paper having feet). Have you ever tried to tear apart two pieces of paper stuck firmly together with dry glue? Try to visualize this. What happens when the paper attempts to be torn apart? I’ll tell you what happens, you end up with both pieces of paper sporting rips, holes, tears and/or strips of your ex-partner left behind – still stubbornly sticking to what is supposed to be your body (oops I mean paper)
When two people separate after sharing the God given gift of sex, there is guaranteed to be parts of them still stuck to each other. You can analyse this in many different ways, and you wouldn’t be wrong to do so. I’d encourage you right now to let your imagination run wild for a minute, as it may be the very thing that helps you to wake up.
So each piece of paper battered and torn, go their separate ways in search of a better life or experience. Low and behold Prince Charming arrives all dashing and suave in his metallic paper style. Wow you think, he must be the one! I think I’ll have to get out the glue and stick myself to this one real quick before he slips through my fingers and leaves me lonely again. You’re so dazzled by the stars in your eyes that you don’t notice his rips and tears carefully concealed by that charming persona. The glue dries and Prince charming turns out to be nothing but dirty dog. In fact if your painfully honest with yourself, you knew deep down that he wasn’t all he cracked up to be, and you really did see the bits from other women sticking to him but you were just too desperate and thankful that he would accept you with all your baggage, to pay any real attention. Now it’s too late and you are stuck to a man who wants to rip more pieces out of you and add to your collection of traces left by the others. Not only this, but you know he’ll be off in a jiffy repeating the same process to the next sucker. And thus continues a truly vile and disgusting cycle.
But let’s just forget about him for a minute. You have yourself to be worried about - as this person must make their own decisions and choices in life and there is nothing you can do about that. (except maybe tell him this paper story and then he might get so grossed out that he stops of his own accord). The best thing you can hope to achieve is to put a stop to your own unhealthy cycle. Ask yourself this question. Do you really want to be that piece of paper (woman/man) that goes around sharing herself in so many different ways, all the while knowing (because now you do know) that bits of you will be floating all around the country/world with your (ex) pieces of paper, not to mention your own health and safety in absolute tatters – remember all those tears, rips and holes in your own life?
There is actually another name for this that many of you will be more familiar with – in modern day language it is called “Baggage”. This story just gives the word more descriptive meaning. You see, either way you look at it, creating soul ties will inevitably lead to consequence. But wait. I know the answer to your question! The answer is NO!! Not all is lost with you and your baggage...Read on
There's no getting around it. This subject is huge and will inevitably inspire a variety of reactions. We all have our ideas and beliefs about this subject. And just like you, I am entitled to mine.
My belief comes from the beginning.
Historically, men and women never used to have sex unless their union was authenticated by God. In this day and age (thousands of years later) we call that marriage. Its only over time that the idea and action of sex has been diluted to "anyone and everyone". But lets get real - this is the reality for most things now. We (humans) have taken original things and over time have mixed them up and in with our own desires, beliefs, and ideals. A custom designed reality - good enough for the moment! (because lets be honest, we change our minds, and adopt new ideals as we grow up). Some of you reading this are wondering why this is a problem, after all freedom to choose is your right - right? But if you could take a moment to look past your self-righteousness, surely even you can see that the world used to be a much better place before it got so complicated. On many different levels. That is because the way it was originally, was the way it was always supposed to be.
Love is another good example of this.
Love finds its origins in God, yet sometimes in this day and age, love becomes a tool or an excuse for those who allow themselves to manipulate or be manipulated. This is a perfect example of how humans have taken something Godly, mixed it up with the world which has concocted disastrous results, only for them to turn around when everything turns to custard, and blame the very thing that defines God. “Oh but I love him, and he loves me, and because our love is so strong we really feel that it is ok to express ourselves in a more deep and meaningful way – by making love. God will understand – after all he is Love.” Blah blah blah.
And then the deal is done, soul ties are created and consequences fall hard. “I can’t believe he left me, especially for that woman who sleeps with anyone. I thought he loved me!!! OHHHH I will never, never for as long as I live – EVER love again!!!” And this is just the beginning of a twisted tale that if at all possible, would make it to the Guinness book of records for the most repeated story in all of history.
Most of the time, we women (and men too of course) are left crumpled and lying in our own custom designed stinky sewer, with only the stench of self-induced consequence to keep us company. More often than not we end up throwing a grandiose pity party, wondering what on earth we did to deserve such an unfair lot in life. After all, you did nothing but love this person!! And what do you get in return? Maybe a painful STD? On unwanted pregnancy? How about no support from your partner when it was time to visit the abortion clinic? Or even a cheating partner who flaunts his or her new conquest in your face? Of course a broken heart, and if your really unfortunate, a trip to the hospital for reproductive complications, which may even lead to a Hysterectomy? Which will obviously lead to Pain…Disappointment…more often than not these days, the growing concept of Solo parenthood. Then there is disconnection from God maybe? Psychotherapy? Trust issues? Future dysfunctional relationships? Low self esteem? Inability to care for your children? Anger resulting in abuse? Soul ties? Inability to heal? Rejection of Love? Insanity – Maybe a trip to the mental institution? Drug and alcohol abuse? Suicidal tendencies? Disconnecting from those who love you? Death?????
Or maybe God’s gift to you taken in vain - Your VIRGINITY which is something you will NEVER get back.
All of these things may be a little “far out” for some of you reading this, but I can assure you they are very real consequences, faced my thousands of men and women everywhere, and if you look closely you may be able to identify with at least one of these symptoms, if not more. For sadly many of these things come in package deals which is all the more devastating. These are the very things that happen in reality when you engage sex before it is meant to be engaged. And yes people, the answer will remain the same no matter how many times you ask the question….Sex is not meant to be shared outside of marriage. There are many reasons why, and in the last few paragraphs I have shared with you, why you shouldn’t. These are just a few of the reasons why you shouldn’t, but I think it is just as important to explore why it is that God sanctifies marriage as being the not-negotiable way for two people to come together with such intimacy in more depth…
please read on.