I want you to know some things about yourself, because sometimes life has an ugly way of convincing us that we are less than who we truly are. When your young these sharp poisonous arrows come thick and fast so if you don’t mind, I’d like to be the voice of truth that won’t go away, because, sorry honey... once it’s on the internet it’s here to stay lol! I also want to give you some motherly advice during these difficult teenage years. If ever I’m not around and you need a little reminding, go to my letter and be encouraged Boo. xx
Let’s start with a little advice, not in any meaningful order btw:
1. Boys. Yeah I’m guna go there first and get it out of the way, since everyone knows at your age everything is about 'the boy' lol! Fun fact: Boys aren’t going ANYWHERE and will always be around so there’s no need to be in a rush honey! Take your sweet time, enjoy your freedom while you can, and protect that big beautiful heart of yours. In fact, the longer you wait, the more likely it is they will be mature enough to handle you and your awesomeness. Fun fact #2 Boys don’t mature until much later than girls. Your pretty much doomed if you try now. #Just saying! Don’t give your heart away so easily as you only have one, and you want your future someone to have the best of it right? *softly hums Tori Kelly/Dear no one
2. Dreams. Whether you have them yourself, or someone else sees prophetically for you (and you know it to be true) – hold tight to those dreams and don’t give them up so easily. Dreams aren’t always easy, in fact most of the time they damn hard girl! If it starts getting uncomfortable, or you want to run a mile then that’s a great indication that the dream is for real….and in the words of your mothers favourite hoody “suck it up princess” lol. No one’s going to serve it up to you on a platter my darling. You have to dig deep and pursue your purpose relentlessly.
3. God and Faith. We’ve raised you your whole life to believe in, have faith in, and love your Daddy God. We’ve done everything to set you up for good solid relationship, but the bottom line truth is this – you must wantit for yourself. You must want it more than anything, or anyone. And that includes those pesky boys, that new phone, or all those hours trolling Facebook. Like all good relationships, this one will take time, effort, and commitment. And yes sometimes even sacrifice. You can’t have ANY relationship without these things so think about that next time you say yes and amen then forget all about that QT you promised. He deserves your very best because He gives you His very best. You can never make Him stop loving you, so next time you feel unworthy for whatever reason, just remind yourself of that fact. He was with you before you were formed in my womb and He will be with you when you leave this earth. That’s the kind of relationship worth investing in don’t you think?
4. Self-esteem. I try not to LOL when you act like you don’t know how beautiful you are inside and out. To me and your Dad it has always been so obvious. But to you and thousands of other teenage girls out there who struggle with self-confidence, it isn’t always clear and that makes me sad. Lack of self-esteem can lead to women making very bad choices and settling for boys who don’t know how to treat them well. I know this hardness all too well. Like I keep saying babe…don’t be a doormat. You are a Queen in your own right and ANY man would be blessed to have your heart. Accept your worth once and for all. Kill the confusion and lies. You can still be humble yet know exactly what your worth. And for goodness sake, look in the mirror beautiful!
5. Education/Career. I want you to set yourself up to have the best possible future because well…. your worth it. That means working hard NOW and focusing on your studies. We’ve always said we don’t expect you to be a scholar, but we do expect you to TRY your hardest. Education is important, but it is not the be all and end all. If you are authentic in your efforts and give it your best, then I will be a proud mamma bear. Ultimately if you’ve set yourself apart for God and are open to His will in your life, He will maintain control of your future. AKA nothing to worry about. Don’t stress baby girl…what is meant to be will be. But you gotta do your part too - yes?
6. Love and Heartbreak. There’s no getting around it, a woman’s heart is so damn breakable, made worse by the inclination to give it away so easy. You my darling have one of the biggest, most loyal and compassionate hearts I’ve ever encountered. I am in awe of your heart – it truly is a gift from God. So if and when it gets broken, turn to the one who gave you your beautiful heart and ask Him to heal it wholly. Take one day at a time, breathe through the pain, and understand this truth: The day will pass and the pain will fade. Your future is still stunning and there is so much more happiness to be had! I promise you my darling. Please trust me on this. Oh and learn you blimin lesson for next time: Guard that heart girl!
7. Friends. There’s a popular saying that goes something like this “you are who you hang out with”. I don’t know about that if you’re a grown adult, as that would mean Jesus would be a prostitute, liar and leper amongst other things... umm yeah nah lol. But while you’re a teenager and still learning how to be entirely YOU aka strong enough to be true to yourself, I think there is wisdom in this concept. The more time you spend with a person, the more likely you are to take on their ways of doing things. So from one woman to another: Seriously!! Please don’t be besties with the skankies, liars, cheaters, easy if you know what I meansies, too cool for schoolers, players, and fake two facers. Oh and lets never forget the mean girl bullies. Hell no. Don’t let them distract you, influence you, convince you to do or be someone you’re not. And just as importantly – Don’t YOU be that to your friends and peers. You know I'll come down there and whoop your....if you do lol.
8. Integrity. Peer pressure, bullying, social expectation, injustice, inequality….the list goes on. It’s a sucky world out there, even more so now I believe. But the fundamentals haven’t changed from my age to yours. Be fierce, loyal, always stand up for what’s right, never denounce your faith and what you believe in, hold fast to your values and morals, be a bad ass that people look up to, stand up for the little people, don’t turn away from injustice. Sounds like a Martin Luther rewrite, but seriously babe; This is your practice ground. The development of your integrity even at this age is so important, and will help define and shape you into the woman I know you will be. You can be known for these things, or be known as the girl who says she’s one thing but acts the other. Don’t be that girl sheesh.
9. Family. What can I say about family...? Well, lets start with the obvious: we can drive each other craaaay-zy right? But God put this family together, and with Him at the centre of it all, there is NOTHING we can't accomplish together. No matter what the storms try to throw at us, we've always got love for each other, and we've always got each others backs. We have always been your constant, and always will be. You belong right here darling. Like me, you might be a little 'over it' in terms of what this family has been through, but ask yourself honestly hun....hasn't it made us stronger? closer? grown our love even more? We're all the better for it, and tbh I'd rather have a strong kick-ass-family than a fall-apart-in-the-breeze-family any day. We are blessed to have each other, and blessed to be in this together for life. Remember, 'you can count on me like 1-2-3 and I'll be there....' Remember that next time you want to rip your brothers head off lol
10. Forgiveness. Your whole life you have had to practice forgiveness, whether it’s because loved ones have let you down, or bad parents messed you up with their bad parenting techniques lol (gee how many times do I have to say sorry for sending you to school on a teachers only day!! lol). I've always said that you have grown into the young woman you are today inspite of us. Can't take too much credit...just a teeny bit lol But seriously, the grace that has flowed out of your heart and mouth has never failed to blow me away and I actually believe that’s pretty special – a gift even. My encouragement to you is to never turn your back on the principle, heart or act of forgiveness. Without this you run the risk of turning into a bitter angry and emo young woman – and ugly is the only word I can think of to describe that. Ugly and sad. You are neither of these things, so keep the light shining bright my darling. And keep your heart soft in this area of life, not just for your benefit but for others around you.
These are just a few subjects off the top of my head and no doubt more will come as I learn how to be a Mum to an ever-growing young woman. The lessons for all of us are countless! I was guna talk about SEX but hell no! If you must think about it then go and read this blog....and get your reality check. Your welcome.
One last piece of advice and a little personal reminder for you;
You don't need to be broken to make a difference in this world.
Embrace your stereotype, and understand that God can use anyone at any time – yes even a good girl that hasn’t had her life ripped apart. There is no prerequisite for life trauma in order to serve God and make a difference in this world. That’s just a myth! There's enough brokenness in this world already. God grieves enough as it is! My darling dare to:
Be the difference.
Be a living answer.
Be the anomaly.
Show people it's possible. That with God all things are possible.
Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder and to Him you are more than anything you can imagine.
When you fall down - and you will fall down - get back up with the knowledge and understanding that it’s not about what YOU are capable of, it’s about what He is capable of through you.
Know this always and forever, I LOVE YOU and am so flippin proud of you! And please forgive me in advance for the photos........hehe ;-p xoxo